


Her Light

by bertholdtfruitbar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, Mikasasha - Freeform, attack on titan - Freeform, mikasa ackerman/sasha braus - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4372679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertholdtfruitbar/pseuds/bertholdtfruitbar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasha finds herself afraid, and Mikasa finds herself in love. [crappy summary]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Light

**Author's Note:**

> Still trying out this writing style. Hope you like it.

She feels sometimes that she made a poor choice.

Sasha Braus was never one to take things too seriously, but she attributes this as to growing up sheltered about certain things her whole life. While she was taught to be a huntress from the moment she could walk, she was ignorant to the suffering around her and she could only think of herself. It was why her Papa scolded her so, and to prove him wrong she ran away.

Joining the military police was the only way she thought she could prove himself to him, and though she worked hard for her place in the top ten-she still feels inadequate. She's met so many good soldiers, better fighters than she could ever be that she can't help but to feel like her decision had been the wrong one.  
She watches Mikasa Ackerman very closely, and she tries to imitate the courage and strength the other pulls off so well. She tries to pull off her stoic attitude at times, but that was something she couldn't pull off herself. She hides things about herself, but it isn't too long before her friends figure it out and they encourage her to embrace who she really is.

Mikasa tells her she trusts her instincts, and when Sasha feels something is going to go wrong they listen. 

After the battle at Trost her instincts tell her to join the Survey Corps, though she's fearful of what will become of her. She doesn't want to face the Titans again, but she knows she will have to. She knows that she can try to make a dent in their progress, and maybe no more people will die.   
Maybe people wouldn't have to die anymore.

However she is still afraid, she is not the smartest nor the strongest member of their squad. She puts up a front, she continues acting like a hungry-crazed soldier so that her fellow comrades wouldn't know. She knows Ymir is watching her, encouraging her to be herself-but she can't. She doesn't want to come off as a coward.  
And then Ymir leaves, choosing to stay with the traitors as they go off on their own. They tried to take Eren with him, but he was quickly retrieved and they went into hiding. She was soon chosen to become part of the new Squad Levi-and while she insists to the others of their skill she is afraid.  
The plans become messy, and she feels even more alone. 

But she isn't. Mikasa notices her change in attitude, and her lack of an appetite. The battles have weighed heavy, though not as heavy as the others. 'We're not good people anymore,' Armin tells them. She wants to be a good person, but she knows he is right-and that is what weighs on her the most.  
"Sasha," Mikasa calls to her, "you haven't eaten all morning. I brought you the rest of the rations of bread." 

The huntress looks up at her, her brunette hair falling slightly over her face. Her face is ashen, a fresh streak of tears graced her cheeks as she quickly wiped them away. She is silent however, shaking her head at her fellow squad member as she declined the morcel of food. 

"It is not like you to turn down food," The soldier says quietly, "but I must insist that you eat it. You need your strength."

She has no words, Sasha isn't sure if Mikasa quite understands her feelings. But she accepts the food, graciously biting into it. It had been a day and a half since she last ate-perhaps this could be the reason for her lack of motivation. She didn't want to get out of bed, and she didn't want to continue on with their plan. It was getting too complicated, and she had to kill others when she should be fighting Titans.

"Sasha." Mikasa says her name again. She finds herself wanting the other to continue to say it, the way it rolls off the others tongue comforts her somehow. She always knows how to make her feel alright, and she trusts Mikasa with her inner most secrets. They bunked together back in training, and she was the only one who was willing to listen to her talk about her homeland aside from Historia.

"I'll be fine," Sasha tells her quitely, "I should be heading out to switch Connie out for guard duty soon."

"I will take your spot, Captain Levi says you need to eat." 

That was strange. Levi didn't really care to make sure she ate enough, probably because she ate too much. Though she had been acting weird the last few days, but she couldn't find any one of them that hasn't been acting the same. "I'm fine," She insists, pushing the rest of the food away; "it's just been so hot-I lose my appetite then."  
Mikasa looks at her, her dark eyes were narrowed slightly. She could tell the other was worried, and she could feel that she wasn't going to back down. "Sasha, if there's something that is bothering you-you know that I'm here to listen." 

"I know," She answers meekly, "but nothing is bothering me." 

"I know you better than that." 

Sasha knows not to fight, tears threaten to spill over again as she falls back onto the bed. "I'm still scared, and I don't want to be. What if I made the wrong choice? I'm not the strongest, I don't feel right being on this squad." 

"Captain Levi chose us all for different reasons," Mikasa said, "but you have to trust in his decision. Just like you have to trust in yours." 

Sasha is quiet for a moment, and she ponders this. She whispers, "Should I have stayed home?" 

"If you had stayed home, if I haven't met you-I would be dead now." 

Mikasa remembers Sasha saved her, through her own carelessness she hadn't seen the man grab for a gun. Sasha had seen him, and she shot an arrow right in his gun-something that none of them would be able to do on their own. "That's a lie," Sasha says, "I can't be the reason you're alive now." 

"You do so many good things for others, and yet you choose to forget." 

"You're so much stronger than me, Mikasa." 

They sit there in silence for a moment. Mikasa tugs at her red scarf, thinking of her own reasons for joining the Survey Corps. It was Eren that drove her, and continues to drive her-but it was Sasha that makes it a little better. She looks to Sasha for a smile, and to feel better about how things are going.

To Mikasa, Sasha is the light at the end of the tunnel. Her cheerfulness throughout everything, the way she would cheer them on even through the grimmest of situations was what attracted her to the brunette. But Sasha didn't see that she was worth loving, that she was worth being praised.

They might not be good people anymore by Armin's account, but Sasha was still a good person. "Sasha." She says very quietly, finding herself inching towards her even more; "I don't want you to feel this way." 

She looks into her light brown eyes, a fierce resolution set in her mind as she pressed her lips over the other's. Her lips are soft, pleasant even. She had never kissed anyone before, never felt close to anyone to share such a sacred moment with. Even Armin and Eren, whom she considered family. Sasha is shy at first, but soon she finds herself returning the kiss though she is just as experienced as Mikasa is.

They pull away, both touching their lips as if they couldn't quite believe what they had done. Sasha closed her eyes, resting against Mikasa's shoulder-trying to savour the moment before it was gone. "Mikasa?" 

"Hm...?" 

"Why did you do that?" 

Mikasa waited a moment, before a soft smile graced her features. "It's simple, isn't it?" 

"What is?" 

She didn't answer her, simply pulled her from her shoulder and kissed her again. "Sasha. Promise me something." 

"What is that?" 

"I want you to promise me that you will survive, no matter how scared you are." 

Sasha places her forehead on hers, her eyes looking at her with uncertainty. "Will you promise me the same?" 

"I promise." 

The brunette closes her eyes, and for once she is at peace.

"Okay. I will survive. With you."

**Author's Note:**

> It was sloppy, I will change it eventually.


End file.
